The other night, a tornado hit Illinois near my house outside Chicago. My kids got scared, probably because the news junkie in me has every alert on her phone beeping “breaking news.” We headed to the basement despite the fact that the cost of water, broken pipes and sump pumps are much more frightening.
My son, as usual, now has endless questions about tornadoes. And as usual, I have been reminded of my time in TV news and the need to know the difference between the F1 and F5, how fast they go and how wide they can be, it’s really unbelievable. It’s hard to believe Stoughton, Wisconsin was hit 10 years ago when it feels like yesterday.
I also thought of Dorothy and friends and how much this same,now eight-year-old third grade boy loved her and the Wizard of Oz when he was only four. He was “in love” and we were in love with the idea of him being in love.
I have thought all week about the definition of “love” since a really special wedding I attended. It was an absolutely beautiful ceremony where a butterfly was included as an unexpected guest. The second time I spotted it, the bride and groom were reading their hand-written vows. “Love is not an emotion, it is a promise,” I heard. I managed to keep it together until that point, when I wished I had remembered tissues. To stop tears from flowing like a waterfall, I focus hard on the story of the couple up front, pray for their souls in my own way, and wait until later to think and reflect. Back home I think if I have the real thing, the promise, why do I want marriage again too? I guess it comes with the territory.
My own story of love is a lot like Dorothy’s journey down the yellow brick road. Over the years, married and not, I would often feel like I woke up and didn’t know what happened or where I was. Now, there is no place like home. I am back home after 20 years with the wrong characters. This Dorothy has found a man who can find the courage to not only love me with his whole heart, but also never leave. I met the love of my life and those dreams I tried to never “dare to dream” again started tugging at my heart strings.
My first grown-up “love,” my scarecrow, had a problem with my brain when it failed. He failed to stop and think about his own brain not thinking straight, vows were broken and it’s hard to forgive. I work at it all the time, though, I swear to God I do.
The second “love,” my tin man, was more like a knight in shining armor but with shining teeth and belongings and a phony heart like the one in the movie beating on the inside. Thank God he bailed repeatedly so I could figure who was the desperate, stupid one (me).
Today I have no doubt that the love of my life is my lion. The bravest, strongest man I know who is so busy making other people happy and working hard that he has no idea he is the bravest, strongest, sexiest, sweetest, smartest, most devoted man around. The only thing that could make this lion cowardly is injuries on the road of love, or the lack of love. If I had the nerve, I would tell those he walked it with before what I think of them but then I would end up having to write about my theory on witches.
This is absolutely the first man I have been with who gets what true love is. His brain has had vows straight his whole life and his heart is so real and full with the right kind of love it is about to burst. Mine already has.
Love may not be an emotion, but it certainly feels like one when it takes over our thoughts and feels like the right one for all the right reasons, with or without a ring on anyone’s finger. Love is even more than a promise after we say the word forever, even if marriage vows never happen.
I’ll never forget when friends and family got the nerve up to ask me why John was so special in my life and I was tongue-tied, which is rare. It was hard to describe because it was so easy, for once. One part of my path in life felt clear. We are wise hearts based on two very rusty orange marathon paths of love.
It’s certainly painful when love’s promises are broken but even more painful when no one wants to make them, or is able to keep them with you in life. I don’t need a wizard to remind me that there is love in the air, it is a promise that will survive any storm.
Seize the Day with Sarah 